The family and I went to one of these no-frills supermarkets last weekend, where they have all the products disguised to look like well-known brands, like if you squint you'll think you're actually putting A-1 Steak Sauce on your hamburger, not AL-STEAK sauce- you get the idea.
Anyway, I didn't really want to go. The missus insisted we go there to buy certain things, as she insists that we are poor. She could be right about that, but I insist that poor is a state of mind, and that in my mind I am a gazillionaire.
So, I was along reluctantly- we brought our own grocery bags so we wouldn't have to buy them at the store but we don't own a cart so we still had to rent one- all of this no-frillery made me slightly grumpy.
However, my mood soon lightened as I spotted a box of microwave popcorn with the brand-name, in carnivalesque font:
Did I say my mood lightened? I should say I was in hysterics. All I could do was point and guffaw. Now it was the wife's turn to be grumpy. She tried to pretend she didn't know me.
It's been kind of a running gag for the past week. Corntown!
And, added bonus! Popcorn lung comes along to sweeten the pot! Now I could entertain myself and annoy the missus with my little playlet, performed in the bathroom as I was flossing:
Narrator: Corntown, USA. A town with no future, the only employment available a dead-end job in the popcorn mines. But some hope to escape the fate of previous generations.
Young Davey: Me, I'm gettin' out of Corntown. I ain't gon' die from the popcorn lung like my daddy and his daddy before him. I can still remember Pappy on his deathbed. We knew he was about to go when his coughs slowed down to two or three per minute...