Friday, November 16, 2007


The Consumer Product Safety Commission has recalled children, finding that they pose a significant health hazard to children and have a tendency to release toxic chemicals.

Sorry, just channeled Erma Bombeck for a second there!

Glad that's over!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

note to my daughter

I know your mother and I kid around alot with the "I'ma eatchyoo up!", but I just wanted you to know- if you were a bank vole or a house finch we might not be kidding!
And listen to this:

Klug said filial cannibalism could be a way to root out offspring that take too long to mature and therefore require a little too much parental care

So, you know, shape up or, well, let me just see what this apple looks like in your mouth...

partly Sonny Perdue

Georgia Guv: And can we have a pony?

There's something reminiscent of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court here, since I think rain has been forecast for just after the prayer session since last week, but who knows? Sonny seems a little whackadinghoy himself.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Christ, what an asterisk

Barry Bonds is threatening to break young cheaters' hearts everywhere by boycotting the baseball hall of fame. Which is a shame, because Cooperstown could really use someone with his integrity. Here, Bonds takes the proud, indignant stance of a man wrongly accused:

"I will never be in the Hall of Fame. Never," Bonds said.

What he should have done is hire a chorus of sailors to pipe in here with "hardly ever!", but instead he went with:

"That's my emotions now. That's how I feel now. When I decide to retire five years from now, we'll see where they are at that moment," he added. "We'll see where they are at that time, and maybe I'll reconsider. But it's their position and where their position will be will be the determination of what my decision will be at that time."

Oh. Oookayy. Let me see if I've got this right. You will NEVER be in the hall of fame, unless of course the hall of fame positions their determination with a... uh... how'd that go again?

I'm just wondering: in those hearings, did you ever say "I have NEVER knowingly taken steroids"?