I don't post enough of the "amusing kid stories", mostly 'cause, heck, how to choose? So I'm just going to periodically pick one at random, not by degree of amusement or timeliness.
Lil' Griz is in a "getting into everything" phase, which, if childhood phases had slogans, would have the slogan "What Do You Have in Your Mouth?". I fully expect this phase to last for about 18 years, with the things she could have in her mouth only getting worse. Anyway...
One symptom of this phase is that, in order to get something from a closet or the refrigerator, you have to plan your foray in advance so that you can open the door, grab what you need, and close the door before Speedy Gonzales zips in there and you're all like "didn't I have a kid around here somewhere?"
The other day I was checking in the refrigerator to see if we had a particular thing. Since I didn't know whether or not we had it, I couldn't plan my attack beforehand and instead had to keep the door open whilst I perused the shelves. I didn't find what I was looking for, and turned to close the door, when I discovered Oona standing next to me, facing the door-shelves where the condiments are, and licking the outside of a bottle of Country Sweet Sauce.
Well, Maury, we won't be needing that DNA test after all. She's mine, for sure.