it's getting so hot I'm worried about my thermometer

Admittedly, discussion of "the economy" and how it's supposed to work put a dull ache behind my eyeballs, so I don't pretend to know what this means:

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Friday the financial crisis that has pounded the country — coupled with higher inflation — is taking a toll on the economy and poses a major challenge to Fed policymakers as they try to restore stability.

But That sounds a little like crying over the death of your canary as the miners go marching down the mineshaft, no?

you always find these laying around after Pink Floyd concerts

And this would be the best day the kids at the children's home would ever remember.

off to a good start

I'm rooting for this story to show up in News of the Weird:

A Batavia man was arrested on his wedding night after police realized that an order of protection obtained against him by his bride was still in effect.


In case you're thinking, "How stupid can this guy be?", well, this stupid:

When police arrived, they found Cole in an altercation with a guest over a chair.

I'm not sure if this means he was fighting with a guest while hovering over the chair, Crouching Tiger-like. I hope so.

Free?! You sure I can't give you something?

You forgot "slingshot and rabbit's foot".

Weeee!

The NYT is apparently writing for my daughter now. I think today's article, McCain Woos Bikers, will soon be available in a board book:
STURGIS, S.D. — Vrrrooooom. Vrroom, vroom, vroom.

I think all news articles should start with sound effects. This will, in my opinion, greatly improve the Paris Hilton coverage.