it's getting so hot I'm worried about my thermometer

Admittedly, discussion of "the economy" and how it's supposed to work put a dull ache behind my eyeballs, so I don't pretend to know what this means:

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said Friday the financial crisis that has pounded the country — coupled with higher inflation — is taking a toll on the economy and poses a major challenge to Fed policymakers as they try to restore stability.

But That sounds a little like crying over the death of your canary as the miners go marching down the mineshaft, no?

you always find these laying around after Pink Floyd concerts

And this would be the best day the kids at the children's home would ever remember.

off to a good start

I'm rooting for this story to show up in News of the Weird:

A Batavia man was arrested on his wedding night after police realized that an order of protection obtained against him by his bride was still in effect.


In case you're thinking, "How stupid can this guy be?", well, this stupid:

When police arrived, they found Cole in an altercation with a guest over a chair.

I'm not sure if this means he was fighting with a guest while hovering over the chair, Crouching Tiger-like. I hope so.

Free?! You sure I can't give you something?

You forgot "slingshot and rabbit's foot".

Weeee!

The NYT is apparently writing for my daughter now. I think today's article, McCain Woos Bikers, will soon be available in a board book:
STURGIS, S.D. — Vrrrooooom. Vrroom, vroom, vroom.

I think all news articles should start with sound effects. This will, in my opinion, greatly improve the Paris Hilton coverage.

give me your hungry

Earlier today I caught a bit of CNN coverage and noticed that John McCain was speaking in front of s sign reading "Fudge Haus". Which I thought was pretty funny. Later, I see on Crooks and Liars a picture of him speaking in the cheese aisle of a supermarket. What's going on here? Some kind of Pavlovian strategy? Are they sruggling so much that they're resorting to the message: "Mccain=fondue"?

Corvette Summer

Bob Novak: He's not dead, that's the main thing.

Bobby, Bobby. While it is certainly a good thing that that the guy who bounced off your windshield is alive, I think the "main thing" for you ought to be that you hit a dude and kept driving. Outing covert CIA agents didn't satisfy your blood lust, eh? Had to take matters into your own hands?

Also, thank god the Corvette's okay.
Do people still drive those things? Was the dealership out of Deloreans?