"Your eminence, you're looking good," Bush told the pope.
We can only hope he shot him with the finger-pistol, and winked.
BTW, that eminence front? It's a put-on.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Iffy Pop
Maybe you can't pop popcorn with your cellphone, but I bet you can get it as a ringtone. My question: If they don't make popcorn, what good are they? Shouldn't every technological device make popcorn? Who will join me in a boycott: no more non-popcorn-making devices! Or at least toast!
(via Titivil, and all over the place)
(via Titivil, and all over the place)
Thursday, June 5, 2008
never give up, never give up, never give up that... ship
I suspend, but do not concede. I support, but do not endorse. Ain't I somethin'?
Clinton prepared to declare on Saturday that she is supporting the Illinois senator, but she is not expected to officially endorse him or relinquish control of her delegates.
When reached for comment, "the fat lady" whispered "Can't talk. Vocal chords shot. May need to call in understudy".
Clinton prepared to declare on Saturday that she is supporting the Illinois senator, but she is not expected to officially endorse him or relinquish control of her delegates.
When reached for comment, "the fat lady" whispered "Can't talk. Vocal chords shot. May need to call in understudy".
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
our stupid world...
...and the stupid reporting on our stupid world:
Preparation H, the topical medication used to treat hemorrhoids, reportedly is catching fire as the latest "drug" to hit the New York City club scene.
I think they should print a correction:
In the June 3 edition, we incorrectly reported that Preparation H is catching fire. Preparation H is no more or less flammable than any other hemorrhoid cream. We apologize for any panic our article may have caused.
Preparation H, the topical medication used to treat hemorrhoids, reportedly is catching fire as the latest "drug" to hit the New York City club scene.
I think they should print a correction:
In the June 3 edition, we incorrectly reported that Preparation H is catching fire. Preparation H is no more or less flammable than any other hemorrhoid cream. We apologize for any panic our article may have caused.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
all this and...
Andy Rooney is annoying, but he has my everlasting respect for an interview I saw with him years ago in which he complained about Joe Piscopo's impression of him, claiming that he had actually never uttered the phrase "didja ever notice?". The great part was that he kept pronouncing the name "piss-POE-co". I think the interviewer tried to correct him, but he persisted. I'm quite certain he was doing it on purpose.
But his 60 Minutes segments seem to get awfuler and awfuler, 'til it looks like one day he's going to show up in a bathrobe and tell us that he just crapped in his hand. Thankfully , someone has come up with an exercise that converts these embarrassing segments into flaming bags of bulldada for your enjoyment.
Rooney is the new Garfield!
But his 60 Minutes segments seem to get awfuler and awfuler, 'til it looks like one day he's going to show up in a bathrobe and tell us that he just crapped in his hand. Thankfully , someone has come up with an exercise that converts these embarrassing segments into flaming bags of bulldada for your enjoyment.
Rooney is the new Garfield!
Monday, June 2, 2008
I look like a farmer, but I'm a lover
Earlier today I emailed a friend and asked him if he wanted to get together and build some cigar box guitars.
Then, just now, I found out Bo Diddley had passed on.
Besides the coincidence, I felt this one in my stomach. I've seen Bo perform three or four times, and he always put on a great show. When compared to others of his generation (I'm looking at you Mr. Berry) who had a tendency in later years to phone it in, Bo remained vital, entertaining, and hardworking. I saw him perform with Ron Wood once, and Wood was clearly there more for the partying than the music. Diddley shoved him off stage after a couple songs and gave us the set we'd paid for.
Somewhere there may be a recording of yours truly at 17, singing Who Do You Love with a friend's band on a live radio concert thingy. My friend said he didn't have the Bo Diddley rhythms in his veins, implication being that I did, but I think it was more like I was the only other kid in our high school who'd heard of him. Though for awhile there I was in danger of wearing out the grooves on my copy of Chess Records' His Greatest Sides collection. My parents, whose bedroom was directly below mine, can attest to that.
Diddley is a figure that has loomed large in my pantheon for most of my life. I'm sad that I won't see him perform again.
So, from Grizzly Dad to Diddley Daddy:
Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits. Rest in Peace.
Then, just now, I found out Bo Diddley had passed on.
Besides the coincidence, I felt this one in my stomach. I've seen Bo perform three or four times, and he always put on a great show. When compared to others of his generation (I'm looking at you Mr. Berry) who had a tendency in later years to phone it in, Bo remained vital, entertaining, and hardworking. I saw him perform with Ron Wood once, and Wood was clearly there more for the partying than the music. Diddley shoved him off stage after a couple songs and gave us the set we'd paid for.
Somewhere there may be a recording of yours truly at 17, singing Who Do You Love with a friend's band on a live radio concert thingy. My friend said he didn't have the Bo Diddley rhythms in his veins, implication being that I did, but I think it was more like I was the only other kid in our high school who'd heard of him. Though for awhile there I was in danger of wearing out the grooves on my copy of Chess Records' His Greatest Sides collection. My parents, whose bedroom was directly below mine, can attest to that.
Diddley is a figure that has loomed large in my pantheon for most of my life. I'm sad that I won't see him perform again.
So, from Grizzly Dad to Diddley Daddy:
Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits. Rest in Peace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
