It breaks your heart in two

I love Roy Orbison, but I hate cling film.

one look at you and I can't disguise...

I'm the first guy to shut someone down if they're talkin' smack about President Carter. He's the only US Prez of whom I am a "fan". Sorry, Taft.
Having said that, I think some of the synapses might be firing a little kooky these days. I don't blame them, they've been through a heck of a lot. I bet watching Arafat eat a salad is a jarring experience.

Anyways, I was at the dentist's office today reading Time magazine. They have a feature called 10 questions. This is where readers send in questions to ask that week's luminaries, and where I ran across this:

"Q:Did you ever envision becoming so prolific a builder of latrines? —Ricardo Fernandez, Orland Park, Ill.
A: [Laughs.] Ethiopia has one of the highest incidences of blindness on earth because of trachoma, which is caused by filthy eyes."

Oh, that's a hoot!
Incidentally, Filthy Eyes was Tip O'Neill's preferred brand of scotch.

iron butterfly?

Government Agent #1: The boss wants us to get some photos of the protesters downtown, so I'm sending those robot dragonflies we've been working on!

GA#2: I've got a better idea. Why don't I put on a Ron Paul T-shirt and go down there with my cameraphone?

GA#1: Robot dragonfly! Robot dragonfly!

I hear Speed Racer's been knocking over liquor stores

I know my mind is poisoned by an abundance of television viewing in my youth, but all I could think when I saw the headline Devlin pleads guilty in kidnapping case was "it's always sad when cartoon stunt motorcyclists go bad".

You don't even want to know where I ran into Scrambles from the Chopper Bunch.

the "time" in the name of the magazine is apparently 1960

So, being a dad who actually parents is girly.
Reading this article is like sitting next to some drunk meatball at the bar who's accosting you with "I wish I had duh guts to wear a shirt like dat. A lotta guys would be worried dat people thought they was fags. But it's great dat you feel comfortable like dat":

But what does it mean, exactly, to be a man these days? Once upon a Darwinian time, a man was the one spearing the woolly mammoth. And it wasn't so long ago that a man was that strong and silent fellow over there at the bar with the dry martini or a cold can of beer--a hardworking guy in a gray flannel suit or blue-collar work shirt. He sired children, yes, but he drew the line at diapering them. He didn't know what to expect when his wife was expecting, he didn't review bottle warmers on his daddy blog, and he most certainly didn't participate in little-girl tea parties. Today's dads plead guilty to all of the above--so what does that make them?

Um, I don't know-- not jerks?
I would argue that someone who can drink a cold beer while changing a diaper is twice the man, but I don't want to brag.

So thanks, Time Magazine, for congratulating me on being so willingly feminine as to hug my daughter and change her diapers. And I'd switch to water right about now if you're thinking about driving home.

intensity in twin cities

Titivil pointed me to the new Republican Convention Logo , which made me nearly laugh out loud from my urethra, and inspired a few thoughts:

2008: The Year That Got Humped by an Elephant!
or, that 8 should go on the other end (is he humping the year or humping using the year?).
or, every time you look at this you should sing "Jukebox Hero" ("stars in his eyes")
or,
To be perfectly honest, if I had a tail, I'd tickle my own ass while humping a year too.

he's the cat that won't cop out

Jimmy Carter is one baaaaad mother (shut your mouth!).